In the past three and a half months I have had a child, submitted a letter of resignation to the non-profit that I have worked at for over 7 years and began taking steps to further develop my life-coaching brand. While many acquaintances have congratulated me on my big transitions, it was the multitude of micro decisions that were the hardest for me that feel most worthy of celebrating.  There were years of decisions and steps that I deliberated about, addressed with a coach, consulted with trusted loved ones, and stayed up many late nights with my husband deliberating, that most people will never know about.  All of these micro-steps moved me forward and made it possible for all of my “big” transitions to take place.

Transparency in each others process is something we can learn from.  The lack of understanding of how we might get from one phase of our life to the other is the reason people seek a coach.  You will read on Facebook or in an email that a friend has quit his job, been promoted, bought a home, got married or separated, ect… but rarely will you read about the many actions, sacrifices, and micro-decisions he took to get there.  We need to know…we crave knowing the micro-steps.

I encourage you to seek transparency.  Ask your friends, mentors, and family members how they got to where they are.  Especially ask people who inspire you.  Be curious.  Ask them to think backwards.  Ask them what their fears were and how they tackled them.  For my husband and I, our choice to eventually have me work for myself began with conversations during the first years that we were dating.  It was an intention that I held onto for years and it certainly did not happen on accident or without overcoming (and continuing to battle) a great deal of fear.

It’s not just that change is scary, it’s that even if we don’t like our current position in life, we find security in it’s predictability.  Not taking time to explore the many paths and micro steps that could propel us forward can keep us immobilized. Identifying the environment in which we would feel comfortable moving forward is our first step.  I knew early on that my husband’s support and confidence in me would be integral to creating an environment in which I would feel comfortable taking steps to reach my professional goals, not to mention the support of my family.  Just like certain plants need an ideal environment to flourish, as do our goals.

Exploratory Exercise:

What are you reaching for?

What do you find security in?

Who has done what you want to do, or has gone where you want to go?

What micro-steps did they take to get there?

Happy Stepping,