It’s been a rough month. Things I thought I could take for granted, I realized I couldn’t. Things that were black and white became grey. Things were messy and unpredictable and I hated it. I love order, plans, and predictability. I also realize at times I find predictability unbearably boring and draining…but it’s safe. This month reminded me that safe does not always equal meaningful or helpful. We often spend so much time trying to feel safe that we can smother parts of ourselves, parts that need air and light to thrive. Sometimes we choose to remove the “safe” predictability in our lives, and sometimes it feels beyond our control. When it’s not our choice, when life fees like it’s happening to us rather than us making our lives happen for us…it feels messy.
So what to do? Well, I told you…I hate messes. It makes me feel out of control, not in charge, unhinged. I am the person who fixes the messes…not the one who experiences them…right? Well not always. That being said, I have seen buildings destroyed and rebuilt stronger. Never the less…if you are not the one releasing the wrecking ball…it’s hard to see the silver lining.
Things that cross my mind when my life feels really super duper messy:
- I’m doing something wrong, I created this mess
- I’m getting what I deserve
- I’m a fraud
- My life might always be a mess…forever
- Messes only happen to people who don’t take time to be proactive and plan
- Something is wrong with me
- I am weak
Things I know about messes:
- Messes happen to everyone and anyone
- Loving yourself doesn’t mean only embracing minor character defects and imperfections…it means embracing all of yourself (even your mess)
- This is likely temporary…these feelings, this situation, very little if anything is forever…life goes on
- Strength goes hand in hand with vulnerability (without vulnerability we are closed and unable to adapt).
- Asking for help takes strength
- Leveraging resources is a sign of resilience
- Messes can help us acknowledge parts of ourselves we hid
So…today I ask YOU for your insight. When were you most uncertain? What gave you the confidence that you needed to ride it out?
**If you want help taking ownership of your time, contact me about my time-management workshop. It’s fun, personal, and will leave you with a calendar you will love. Interested in shaking things up? Contact me about my individual, couples, or group Vision Board workshop and discover new ways of creative planning.